Death of a Selachii

Session Three: 19th April

Strychnine and Seamstresses

Lance Corporals Cinder, Jerkson and Jenkins in their search for Strychnine found themselves at Ye Olde Apothecary in Five and Seven Yard. Jenkins asked the proprietor if he had anything for rats and initially he suggested Warfarin but when they said they required something stronger like Strychnine which he said he had but it was a dollar a vial and they would have to sign the book. As Jenkins went to sign the book Cinder caused a distraction by climbing the shelves and near giving the poor apothecary a heart attack. Jenkins used this distraction to read the names of the people who had bought Strychnine before which were:

Augustus Jones

All Jolson



Mrs Cake

Hubert Topsy





Cinder stopped his distraction and raced out the door. Jerkson and Jenkins apologised on his behalf and left with the vial of Strychnine and a list of names. While waiting outside Ye Olde Apothecary Cinder worked out that a machine with all the necessary pneumatic contrivances to exsanguinate a body would have to be 3ft by 3ft by 3ft and would be heavy and awkward to carry. They decided to go back to Scoone Avenue to question the Selachii’s neighbours.


Lance Corporals Gummidge and Chant made their way to number 9 Esoteric Street to a detached but not too ostentatious house. A young lady answered the knock at the door, she was dressed completely in black and was of average height, pleasant to look at but pretty unremarkable, she revealed herself to be Jocasta Wiggs and invited them into the drawing room. She revealed that she and her brother came from a long line of assassins and that he was often away on contracts whereas she was studying her PhD at the Guild of Assassins. On Lord Robert’s relationship with her brother she commented that Aldric only became friends with him and Gravid Rust to keep him safe from the other bullies, she herself was not very familiar with Lord Robert. When asked how she would have gone about assassinating Lord Robert she suggested methods which would have left marks on either the tree or the walls. She could also not see a way that she could easily remove Lord Robert’s body from the room. When asked about a machine that could be used to kill people she is stumped. She also revealed that Aldric was out running errands but would return soon and that they were welcome to wait for him to which they agreed. She ordered the maid to fetch them tea and while Jocasta was absorbed in her work Gummidge collected a sample for testing.


Having thoroughly investigated the garden Lance Corporals Valley and Knocks asked Jeeves if there was an attic and if they could go have a look in it. It was filled with mostly junk, dust sheets, the obligatory mannequin and two ghost children. There was no sign of anyone having been into the attic recently. The Lance Corporals asked Jeeves if he would show them the basement and when they arrived down there discovered that there was nothing but wine racks and a large stone salting table. Having conducted an impromptu experiment they discovered that sound from the cellar travelled well and could be heard from upstairs. They asked to speak to Evangeline and Mrs Hemmings who are in the kitchen cooking, when asked about Lord Robert and the Seamstresses they didn’t have much more than hearsay so Valley and Knocks paid a visit to Arris who told them that he would sometimes drop Lord Robert off near Rosie Palm’s House of Good Repute. The Lance Constables set off for Whore Pits.


When Aldric Wiggs returned he was a little surprised to see Lance Corporals Gummidge and Chant but not perturbed. He revealed that the last time he saw Lord Robert was at a gala at the Von Lipwigs and they only really engaged in small talk. He also mentioned that he was sure Lord Robert was not involved in the smuggling business that had resulted in Gravid Rust being deported to Four Ecks. When asked about Lord Roberts relationships Aldric mentioned that there was an engagement about five years before that had been broken off but he had no idea who the lady involved was. He confirmed that Lord Robert was indeed quick to anger and could be violent. Aldric also revealed that the heir to the Selachii fortune was his cousin Remora who lived in Quirm. When asked about a killing machine Aldric is, like his sister, bemused. Gummidge and Chant decide to return to the Watch House. On the way back Lance Corporal Gummidge buys a deer stalker and a pipe from the shops in Five and Seven Yard.


When Lance Corporals Cinder, Jerkson and Jenkins arrive at the Selachii’s they first try the door on the right but there is no answer. On trying the door on the left they are met with the suspicious gaze of reclusive plumbing genius Sir Charles Lavatory, who after Jerkson expresses interest in things ceramic invited them into his lavatory laboratory. Through questioning he revealed that he did not even know that Lord Robert had been killed and that on the night in question he had heard nothing. He became panicked at the thought his life might be in danger but after Cinder reminded him that death comes for us all he became absorbed in recording all his work for posterity. They left and decided to visit the Unseen University.


Lance Corporals Valley and Knocks travelled to the Whore Pits and found Rosie Palm’s. She was annoyed at having been woken up but despite this they managed to find out that Lord Robert had been barred from the services of the Seamstresses Guild two months before for violently mistreating Reet. Reet was asleep an unavailable for comment. After harassing Mrs Palm with pamphlets the Lance Corporals decided to go back to the Watch House.


When Lance Corporals Cinder, Jerkson and Jenkins arrived at the University a number of Wizards are gathered on the lawns trying to coax down the Bursar who is currently flying at third floor height. The Lance Corporals ask if they could help to which the Archchancellor said a net would be helpful. Cinder scrounged a net and the Archchancellor told them to follow the Chair of Indefinite Studies up to the third floor, they successfully snare the Bursar and he is bundled off to his quarters by the University Bledlows. The Archchancellor instructs Ponder Stibbens to take them to the Department of Post Mortem Communications as they requested. Once they arrived Ponder Stibbens hurried off and left them to meet Doctor Hix who was a little bit reticent about raising Lord Robert from the dead. However after a little light persuasion he agreed but said he would require Lord Robert’s body (or at least part of it), a signed letter from his family and a warrant signed by Commander Vimes. They say that they will get these things and then make their way back to the Watch House.


When Lance Corporals Gummidge and Chant got back to the Watch House they went straight to Commander Vimes’ office and collected their passes for the record rooms at the Patrician’s Palace. Lance Corporals Jerkson and Knocks decided that they would go to the Selachii’s, ask questions and stake out the house. Lance Corporals Valley, Cinder and Jenkins went to Commander Vimes’ office who rebuked their request for Lord Robert’s body and a warrant and said he did not want the wizards involved at all before he dismissed them. Changing tack they decided to talk to members of the undead community in the hopes of finding one of Death’s relatives so they can question him about Lord Robert’s death. They decided on Constable Shoe who according to Sergeant Littlebottom was out patrolling the Plaza of Broken Moons.


Lance Corporals Gummidge and Chant went to the Patrician’s Palace and after showing their passes were let in. Secretary Drumknott showed them to the record office and collected the information on the people on their list. The records showed that Gravid Rust had been deported to Four Ecks and was now living in Bugarup. Lord Ronald Rust was living at his country estate, Nonsuch Place. Lord Albert Selachii was living in his country estate Little Winging. Remora Selachii was living in Quirm teaching at The Quirm College for Young Ladies. Lord Robert Selachii was arrested for an assault he committed on a boot boy.



I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.